[ Thank the Saints that Xenk hadn't brought coffee, because Alucard would be spitting it out right about now. As it stands, he fumbles and nearly drops the lox he was transferring into Esa's little offering tin. He manages to finish the maneuver, lopping the lox into a heap there.

His expression? A bemused sort of smile. His skin? Flushed darker than usual on his cheeks. First of all? Xenk, the hottest man on board ( though also maybe his best friend in this world so far? ), is having sex. This is a problem for his future mental health and a shameful boon for his late nights. Second? Jarlaxle? Alucard has only met the man twice and the man could sell water to a pirate. Jarlaxle was not the man for his sweet Xenk to be fooling around with.

He needs to know everything. ]

I very much enjoy sex, most especially with other men. You're in good company, Xenk.

[ Look at him, trying to recover, pulling out the little tins of spread to settle between them on the bed and affecting a casual, curious sidelong look. We rolled a nat 20 on this Deception check, so he's making things entirely comfortable, setting out their utensils and their breakfast like this is the most natural conversation in the world to have between friends. ]

I know Jarlaxle. He's one of the most stylish men I've met here so far. Please. Regale me.